I should be happy but I'm not.
I haven't lost any more weight, but twelve pounds in a month is really good. I know this. The problem is that I think I'm skinnier but I'm not sure. The obvious answer is to grab a measuring tape, measure everything, and then compare later. But I can't.
The idea that I am fat was a hard one for me to deal with. I have had strangers literally stop me on the street to tell me I should lose weight. It baffles me a bit because it's not like I'm 700 pounds. I use to just feel like I was on the bigger end of average, but after comments and barking... YES. I've had strangers drive past me and bark three different times and in 3 different states... I just feel like that many people must know something or see something I didn't. Now I see it. I see it every day in the mirror and I try so hard not to look. That damn fat chick stares back at me with her dopey expressions, bad skin, and practically triple chin. I really do hate that chick.
To measure myself is too scary and potentially painful. I don't know how horrible I would feel seeing those measurement numbers. I just can't get up the guts yet. I'm not that strong.
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