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Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I Have a Problem

I should be happy but I'm not.

I haven't lost any more weight, but twelve pounds in a month is really good.  I know this.  The problem is that I think I'm skinnier but I'm not sure.  The obvious answer is to grab a measuring tape, measure everything, and then compare later.  But I can't.

The idea that I am fat was a hard one for me to deal with.  I have had strangers literally stop me on the street to tell me I should lose weight.  It baffles me a bit because it's not like I'm 700 pounds.  I use to just feel like I was on the bigger end of average, but after comments and barking... YES. I've had strangers drive past me and bark three different times and in 3 different states...  I just feel like that many people must know something or see something I didn't.  Now I see it.  I see it every day in the mirror and I try so hard not to look.  That damn fat chick stares back at me with her dopey expressions, bad skin, and practically triple chin.  I really do hate that chick.

To measure myself is too scary and potentially painful.  I don't know how horrible I would feel seeing those measurement numbers.  I just can't get up the guts yet.  I'm not that strong.

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