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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

New Year, New Attitude, New Religion

I was sitting and thinking this morning.  That makes me sound terribly introspective but really, I was in a post-sleep haze and it was the only function I was capable of at the moment.

So I was sitting, staring at my gym in the basement when a thought occurred to me.

It's silly but I was concentrating on the bright glow from the window and thinking about how it glowed so ridiculously that I was reminded of the light.  Well, not "the light", but "THE light".  Like people see upon death.  As in "Go towards the light."  So perfectly positioned in front of my treadmill.  So I have to go toward that life and into the afterlife.  MY afterlife.

I'm taking steps to rise above the entire life I've led and start anew to gain a heavenly-esque reward.  No more being the person breathing heavily because moving this amount of weight up and down stairs is one hell of a workout.  No more feeling like I'm not good enough because I hate the way I look.  No more panic attacks at the mere thought of having to go shopping for clothes that will inevitably not fit and make me feel like a fat cow.

I cleaned my gym, deodorized and scrubbed the carpet until it smells good enough to sleep on, and just in general got it totally pretty.  Because this next year IS going to be one heck of a party.  No struggling and thinking about the now.  I'm looking towards the future and only counting my steps forward.  Because every setback, oops, injury, and victory are steps towards my goals.  Learning.  Becoming stronger.  Not being the me from my life past.  Working towards the me of the future.  The me who has kicked that fat chick so hardcore that her insidious presence no longer rules me.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Let's Talk About Lube and Getting Things Blown


Not THAT kind of lube.  Get your mind out of the gutter.  I'm not Dr. Ruth doing a sex talk up in here.

So here is the story and hopefully telling it will help someone out as opposed to just making me terribly embarrassed that I was unaware.

I love my treadmill.  Not only does it allow me to walk and run when South Dakotan weather is nasty humid hot or -35F chilly, but it gives me hope.  It is my exercise buddy.  It doesn't judge me when I am forced to slow my pace.  It welcomes me back whether it's been since yesterday or a week since I visited.  It makes me healthy by taking care of me in a way I cannot do alone.  Yesterday it failed me.  I turned it on, it powered up, ran for a minute and then died.  I turned it on again and the poor thing tried again before powering off.  In desperation, I fled to the interwebs for answers.  I didn't call my husband to save me.  I didn't yell for tech support.  I sought to help my friend the treadmill.  After ages of sifting through the inevitable misinformation, I found a manual for my Schwinn 6100p treadmill.  Girding myself for the upcoming challenge, with my cute little pink and purple tool kit in hand, I began the delicate surgery on my dear friend.  Once naked, I inspected each fuse, wire belt, metal thingy, computer board and circuit, and everything else.  After checking that all was secure (and removing the toy mousie that God only knows how it got in there) I broke out the lube.

I sprayed under the running belt and along the rotating drums to reduce friction.  Apparently, this should be done regularly.  Oops!  So I lubed the hell out of him.

Then I gave his bits and pieces the blowing of his life.  He's never been blown like that thanks to a big ol can of compressed air.

Sparkly clean, not a speck of dust, primed for performance.

I plugged it back in.  Held my breath.  Pushed the power and start button.

It works!  I fixed it all by myself.  Now back on to the task of letting my treadmill help fix ME.

Moral of the story:  To do routine maintenance on yourself, your equipment might need some too.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Only Four More Sleeps Till Christmas

It's a tad early but to quote my favorite Christmas song:

"There's magic in the air this evening
Magic in the air
The world is at her best, you know
When people love and care
The promise of excitement is one the night will keep
After all there's only one more sleep till Christmas

The world has gotta smile today
The world has gotta glow
There's no such thing as strangers
When a stranger says "Hello"
And everyone is family, we're havin' so much fun
After all there's only one more sleep till Christmas

'Tis the season to be jolly and joyous
With a burst of pleasure we feel it all right
It's a season when the Saints can employ us
To spread the news about peace and to keep love alive"

I'm really trying to LIVE these song lyrics this week. I'm rocking an updated ticker:

But it doesn't make me feel good. I still feel fat but fake it since I feel like I'm supposed to be overjoyed.  But I'm trying.  I'm trying because of people like YOU.  I have been SO blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life that cheer me on, motivate me, listen patiently, and are just beautiful people inside and out.  They believe in me even when I can't bring myself to.  Never taking for themselves, they just give and give.  I have never met such beautiful women in all my life.  It's the kind of beauty that inspires others to be better people.

They ARE Christmas.  The feelings of joy, love, peace, and hope that surround us all.

Merry Christmas.  Happy Hanukkah.  Feliz Navidad.  Joyeux Noel.  Shalom.  

Thank you.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Victory Food

So, I'm still depressed but thankfully the gods of health and fitness have decided to take pity on me and add to my weight loss tally.

I don't get how this weight stuff works.  I'm super careful, eat exactly where I should be and nothing.  Then I say the heck with it, eat pizza (to be fair I gorged on pizza), have root beer floats, and almost call it quits and lose.  WEIRD.  I'm not complaining.  I'll take the loss.  i just wish I understood it.

ALSO:  There is this super sweet and beautiful girl I met on the internet who sent me a pair of jeans that didn't fit her properly.  THEY FIT ME!  They're a size 14 and they fit me.  Get this, when I graduated high-school, I was wearing a size 16.  When I started this whole dieting thing I was wearing a size 18 and even then they were tight.  I hope everyone trying to get healthy can experience the absolute, bubbly joy like I felt when those jeans slipped right on without a fight.  No spillage over the waistband either!

So in honor weight loss victory, I decided to try for a breakfast victory this morning.  On the menu:  maple sausage links, half a grapefruit, cranberry juice, and a delightful cheese soufflé.


Mini Cheese Soufflé

  • 2 tablespoons finely grated Parmesan cheese
  • 1 cup whole milk (I didn't have any so I used 2% with a splash of cream in it)
  • 2½ tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 3 tablespoons all purpose flour
  • ½ teaspoon paprika
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • pinch of ground nutmeg
  • 5 large eggs - divided with yolks and whites in separate bowls
  • 1 cup coarsely grated sharp cheddar cheese

  1. Preheat oven to 400°F.
  2. Grease 6 individual ramekins with butter. Coat each dish with the Parmesan cheese.
  3. Heat milk in heavy small saucepan over medium-low heat until simmering.
  4. Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add flour and whisk until mixture begins to foam.  (about 3 minutes — avoid browning). Remove saucepan from heat for 1 minute.
  5. Pour warm milk into flour mixture, whisking until smooth. Return to heat and cook, whisking constantly until thick (2 to 3 minutes). Remove from heat, and whisk in paprika, salt, and nutmeg.
  6. Add egg yolks 1 at a time, whisking to blend after each addition. Sprinkle in cheese and whisk to incorporate. With a rubber spatula or wooden spoon, scrape soufflé base into large bowl. Cool to lukewarm. (about 10 minutes)
  7. Beat egg whites in a clean, large bowl until stiff but not dry (you can use an electric mixer).
  8. Fold whites into the soufflé base a little at a time. Transfer batter to prepared dishes, divided equally.
  9. Set dishes onto a sheet pan, and place in oven on the lowest rack level. Immediately reduce oven temperature to 375°F. Bake until soufflés are puffed, tops golden brown, and center moves slightly when dish is shaken gently (about 25 minutes). Avoid opening oven door during first 20 minutes.
  10. Serve immediately.

Monday, December 5, 2011


Yes, I'm depressed.

No, it's not dire.

I don't feel like doing anything.  I can make myself, but I still don't like it.  I'm in such a mood that I'd rather sit on the couch and not move as opposed to doing almost anything.  I'm actually feeling a tad better today.  I wanted to blog about this on Thursday but simply could not bring myself to do so.  Not that I didn't want to, I just couldn't be bothered.  I think it's the weather.  The holidays.  The final exams coming next week.  The scale creeping so slowly in only 1/10 of a pound increments.  But I'm not allowed to be depressed.

That's my sister's "thing".  If she comes off as depressed at all, everyone is calling me and asking me to check on her, pleading with me to be extra kind to her, and just in general revolving the entire universe around her.  If I'm depressed, I get told that I'm not and that I need to be less dramatic.  Wonder why I learned to just shut my trap and not bother anyone with my problems.  Whether imaginary or legit.


To distract myself yesterday, I made a couple candies to the holidays.

Hard caramels that (if I may toot my own horn) rival Werther's Originals.  My first try!

And I made gumdrops!  The red ones are orange flavored and the green are lemon.  I think they'll be used to decorate the gingerbread house I'm making with my niece this year.

The gumdrops aren't ready yet as they take two days to cure, but I have sampled a few and they're delicious!

Also, i think it's about time to start thinking about New Year's resolutions.  It IS coming fast.