I was sitting and thinking this morning. That makes me sound terribly introspective but really, I was in a post-sleep haze and it was the only function I was capable of at the moment.
So I was sitting, staring at my gym in the basement when a thought occurred to me.
It's silly but I was concentrating on the bright glow from the window and thinking about how it glowed so ridiculously that I was reminded of the light. Well, not "the light", but "THE light". Like people see upon death. As in "Go towards the light." So perfectly positioned in front of my treadmill. So I have to go toward that life and into the afterlife. MY afterlife.
I'm taking steps to rise above the entire life I've led and start anew to gain a heavenly-esque reward. No more being the person breathing heavily because moving this amount of weight up and down stairs is one hell of a workout. No more feeling like I'm not good enough because I hate the way I look. No more panic attacks at the mere thought of having to go shopping for clothes that will inevitably not fit and make me feel like a fat cow.
I cleaned my gym, deodorized and scrubbed the carpet until it smells good enough to sleep on, and just in general got it totally pretty. Because this next year IS going to be one heck of a party. No struggling and thinking about the now. I'm looking towards the future and only counting my steps forward. Because every setback, oops, injury, and victory are steps towards my goals. Learning. Becoming stronger. Not being the me from my life past. Working towards the me of the future. The me who has kicked that fat chick so hardcore that her insidious presence no longer rules me.