How'd You Lose All That Weight?

So, online people have lately been asking me exactly how I lost the 50+ lbs so far.  I realized that I haven't really laid it out in single posts but have spread it all across my blog posts.  So here is my answer to how I lost the weight:

How I did it is actually quite simple (in principle) but it took breaking a lot of bad habits and forming new ones to get here.  Here are the basics .

*Get the crap out of the house.  If you have chips in your cupboard 24/7, someone is going to eat them.  If you have frozen processed lunches, it's too easy to grab that.  Remove the ease of access to things.  Example:  i love cake and ice cream.  i never have it in the house any more.  If i want it, I have to debate whether it is worth it to go spend the money, get dressed, take the time to drive to a restaurant type place to get it.  50% of the time it's not so I can avoid it.  The other 50% of the time, I go and enjoy myself.

*Don't lose your favorite foods.  Find healthier alternatives.  For ice cream, there is a frozen yogurt place that has some fat-free and sugar-free choices plus toppings.  I'm going there tonight because their new flavor is "cheesecake".  I'll top it with fresh fruit or even cocoa roasted almonds.  Not only is it not bad for me.. it's actually good for me.  Pizza is a greasy yet flavorful diet killer if you overdo it regularly.  But there are DIY pizza recipes that are delicious and nutritious.  (FYI: turkey pepperoni is just as tasty as regular and WAY better for you)

*Track your food.  All of it.  Everything you put into your mouth has a potential to impact your health.  Hop on a site like SparkPeople.com (it's free and has apps) and you will soon be able to see exactly where your food problems are.  Previous to doing that i was actually an under-eater.  Years of dieting had me slowly reducing my intake until I barely topped 900 calories most days.  I think my first week i tracked a 650 cal day.  Because of that, my body was in starvation mode and holding onto every darn bit of fat it could as a self-preservation technique.

*Start an exercise routine.  It doesn't need to be something huge like taking on the p90x dvd program or running a marathon.  Just get moving.  Even a daily walk with a H/FI can start improving your health.  One of my favorite exercises is playing "chase the kittens"  it's like hide-and-seek but at high speeds all over the house.  20 minutes of that and you feel like you've worked out.

*Set realistic healthy goals but set some superficial ones too.  My goal is to not be the fat mom some day.  When we have kids, I don't want to be too tired to play, I don't want to be an embarrassment to them as teenagers, and I want to teach them how to have a healthy lifestyle so they never have to struggle with this like i have since I was young.  I want to go to the doctor for a yearly physical and just once to be not reminded that I really should lose weight. Side goals: i want to look hot.  I want to walk into stores and not have clerks look at me with that "we only carry normal sizes" pity.  I want to like who I see in the mirror.  i want to wear a bikini in public without feeling like I should wear shorts and a t-shirt over it to not offend people with my blubber.  I want to wear cute flowy dresses and shirts without worrying that it could make me look pregnant.

*Eat your veggies.  Your body needs vitamins.  Veggies and fruits are SO good for you.  If you don't like the taste (like my H didn't) there are tons of ways to prepare them and sneak them in that are delicious.

*Eat breakfast.  I feel like my body doesn't get revved up until I eat something.  Even if it's just a single cheese because I'm not hungry when I first wake up, that wakes up my system.  I feel like it's led to a more efficient body for me.

*Meal planning:  It's not only good for your wallet (helps avoid impulse buys) but it also allows you to make sure you always have healthy food on hand.  I have no "convenience" food in my house.  But i could whip up a dinner right now with only 10 minutes warning because after i shop I come home and do the whole week's meal prep (what I can anyway) and packages everything in little containers.  I have single servings of cheese and meat cubes, cottage cheese, sugar free jello, sugar free pudding, beef jerky, cut veggies and dip.  All of those are free snacks.  If I'm hungry, I eat.  I also portion out things that I'll need for various dinners and cook things like boiled eggs, mini egg bakes for breakfasts, and chicken breasts that all make for easy and quick snacks and salad additions.

*Eat:  getting yourself a healthy diet should not involve suffering needlessly.  If you are hungry, eat.  just stay away from crap foods.  I had heard it before and didn't quite believe it, but crappy food makes you want more crappy food.  A little handful of chips can quickly become half a bag (pop chips are a delicious and healthier alternative)  whereas healthy things seem to satiate me better.  plus, there is no guilt.  If i want more watermelon, cheese, or whatever... I eat it.

*Don't be lazy:  it's SO easy to just say I'll do it later, I'll start tomorrow, or just to keep doing what you've always done.  But we're on a weight loss and fitness board... obviously it hasn't worked.  Sure, maybe someone once lost 40lbs on WW or "dieted" their way to 15 lbs last year.  But if you're here and overweight, regardless of past losses, you're doing it wrong.  The real goal is to get to a weight that's healthy and to maintain it.  Without having to obsess over it.  You want a healthy lifestyle.  Everyone does.  I know I'd like to never count calories or debate over whether I really need a second helping of mashed potatoes and gravy.  It should be intuitive.  I think once I know what all foods are worth to my body completely and totally without thinking, can eat pizza without worrying about the scale, then I think I'll have truly made it.  Because then my lifestyle will be healthy and complete.

Everyone I Know... Lied to Me

True Story.  All my friends and family must be liars.

Before I started effectively losing weight, if i mentioned anything about being overweight, huge, or fat, I'd hear things like:

"Sure you could lose a few pounds, but you're not fat."

"Regardless of your weight, you're so proportionate that you don't hardly look overweight."

*I would then argue that my doctor (and most in the world)  would classify me as morbidly obese according to my height and weight.

"That's ridiculous.  You just have some vanity pounds to shed."

"Those scales for comparison are all kinds of wrong."


Well guess what?

Here's how much weight I've lost:

Fifty-five G.D. pounds.  So logically, if someone had 55 pounds to lose, they must have been fat. 

I'm STILL fat.  Mind you, I'm only barely 5'4.  I do have a larger frame (stupid big wrists that are too huge for bracelets) but even factoring that in, the ideal weight for me would still be in the 130-150 range.

So... true of false?  People who have 50 pounds or more of unnecessary weight are fat.

The only people who would admit I had a problem were perfect strangers.  Random strangers in a check-out line mumbling "fat bitch" if I accidentally bumped them with my cart.  Salesperson in the Abercrombie store suggesting I check out Lane Bryant since "We only carry normal sizes."  Even random asshat guys barking at me as they drove by where I was walking on the sidewalk.  Yeah, barked at.  Not just once either.  And not just in this state.

I mean, obviously people aren't going to walk up to their friend and be "DANG.  You need to lose weight.  That's ridiculous!"  But when asked for a candid appraisal, I don't see why the truth wouldn't be the obvious response.  Feel free to candy-coat it a bit.  Don't be harsh.  But don't lie.  You see, discovering your deceptions only makes me doubt everything else you've ever said to me.

And as you know, most of us fat chicks don't have a lot of self-esteem to spare.

It's Here at Last!

No, nothing so dramatic.  Although I am quite close to throwing myself a party for escaping the 200lb club.  Quite.  Like maybe by this time in a week or two.  But that's not the excitement.

It's salad season again!

Some of you may be wondering at my excitement but that's just because you are unaware of my hippie tendencies.  I generally don't eat salads regularly unless the ingredients are all locally available.  I'm all about local agriculture.  So much so that I've got my own little urban farm planned for my backyard and deck.  Once the weather gives me the A-OK to transplant my seedlings from indoors, my summer will be complete.  I'm growing all the things I love to eat.  A huge amount salad greens, tons of tomatoes, and all the veggies my garden beds can hold.  Hopefully it'll be amazing.  No.  It WILL be amazing.

Gardening season means a return to fresh foods and incessant grilling of dinner.  It's so much easier to eat fresh, green, and healthy foods when it's nice out.  I'm hoping that since I got through the holidays and winter still losing, it'll really jumpstart now.

Finger's crossed!

Goal Victory!

Well, I did it.  As of today it's official.

I've lost 50 pounds.  I am in sight of the day when I'll turn in my membership to the 200 club.  I don't feel a darn bit different, still can't see any change when I look in the mirror, but am SO excited. I'm not going to do any big outward celebration for hitting this milestone but I think leaving the 200 club will demand some kind of partying.  So what do you think I should do?  I need ideas. Not being 200 pounds is a really big deal.  It deserves come kind of major recognition.  But what?

Honestly, I'm pretty sure I didn't think I would reach this point.  I guess I figured my willpower would have waned far before now.  So yeah, I have no clue how to reward myself.  I can do the same old things that I like to do to treat myself.  But I feel like I need something bigger that a visit to my favorite frozen yogurt place and going out to dinner.  Something with pizazz. Ideas?

South Beach is Working

So about the South Beach Diet...

Yeah.  It works for me.

I was so skeptical. It hasn't been easy though.  The food choices on this first phase are SO boring.  But since it's working, who am I to complain too much?  My husband and I have decided to have a party day on Sunday in celebration.  We'll go out for pizza (which my husband has been craving incessantly) and just make a freebie day of it food-wise and then jump right back on the wagon the next day.  We're not going to go into phase two fully though.  Still staying away from the breads, potatoes, and pastas, but we're going to add corn, carrots, and the occasional piece of fruit.  The corn and carrots are a big thing since our side dishes at dinner have been so boring.  Broccoli, asparagus, peas and green beans are just a constant splash of green on our dinner plates.  It'll be nice to be able to add some veggie medleys in again.  I don't think it'll derail us either.  Since it's not like we're going to go on a corn binge.

I find myself lately to be praying for spring weather.  It's still too cold overall (or too sloppy with melting snow) and I'd love to start an evening habit with my husband.  Maybe just a nice walk.  Or even a bicycle ride if I can find one for him at a decent price.  I don't think the poor man has ridden an actual bike in decades.  I really would love to have some sort of exercise that we could do daily together.

I Need an Un-Counselor

So I'm losing weight.  But I'm still not happy.

I started the South Beach Diet yesterday.  Before you go off on a tangent about how carbs are an important part of a balanced diet and how a body NEEDS them, I know.  I have a gluten sensitivity and shouldn't be eating breads, pasta, and such anyway.  So it's not a really big deal for me.  Essentially the first two weeks are just making me cut out excessive sugars (I drink more juice than I should), making me tone down my portions of starches like potatoes and rice (since I can make a whole meal of just these), and just breaking some bad habits I have gotten into.  My meals consist of mostly just lean protein and veggies with a bit of cheese here and there.  Lots of veggies (they have those good carbs).  I'm also doing the push-up, sit-up(crunches), and squat challenges again.  If you're interested you can find them here:

http://www.twohundredsitups.com/
http://hundredpushups.com/index.html
http://www.twohundredsquats.com/

My weight is down a bit more but I still don't feel good about it.  I mean, realistically I should be feeling great about it.  Here is my ticker as of this morning's weigh-in:

I'm impressed with myself.  That's not just a little weight. And yet, I STILL can't see it.  At all.  I am convinced that I truly do have some sort of body dysmorphic disorder.  I would think that 40 pounds loss should be a visible loss.  Something.  Anything.  But I don't see a difference despite the evidence I do have that includes small sized pants fitting and becoming too large, the guy I'm in class with on Fridays no longer has to scoot his chair forward for me to get by him, and even the fleeting image of myself looking decent in window and door reflections.  If I look in the mirror, I look exactly the same as I did a year ago, and really for decades.  I feel like I need an honest, unbiased, maybe even a harsh assessment of my image by a stranger.  If I could know for sure what other people really see when they look at me, perhaps I can begin to finally really tackle this horrible self-image problem.  I mean damn.  I don't ever feel pretty.  I just want to look in the mirror once and see the real me.  I know I can't be as hideous as what I see because frankly, I'm pretty sure no one would have ever married me if what I see was the visible norm.  it's pretty bad.

So if anyone knows any methods or homeopathic type therapies that might work for my problem, I'd really appreciate it.  I don't feel comfortable visiting any of the small number of counselors or psychiatrists in town because frankly, I've either worked with them or they know my father. Ethics and confidentiality are great, but i just wouldn't be comfortable.  So I'm going to have to continue to shrink myself.  Pun intended.

I Have a Game Plan

So plateaus..  yeah  BIG SUCK.

I tried switching everything up.  I tried everything I could think of.  No Good.  Still fat.

So I'm essentially starting over.  I've been eating at a maintenance the last few days and will continue it for another week in hopes it resets my whole metabolism.  Maybe?  And then I'm hitting the South Beach Diet hardcore.  I needed a sugar detox anyway.  My husband has requested to join me for at least the first two weeks and I'm excited and scared at the same time.  Excited that he's doing something with me, scared he's going to turn into a sugar-withdrawn, cranky, bear that growls at me all day.  He's also agreed to hop on board for some fitness challenges I'm starting on Monday, the 27th of this month.  I've taken part in the past and they were really fun:

http://www.twohundredsitups.com/ (modified to crunches)
http://hundredpushups.com/index.html
http://www.twohundredsquats.com/

SO...  hopefully that will have me singing again.  Singing songs of weight loss victory.  Only time will tell though.

Stupid weight.  Stupid fat chick.  *sigh*  Makes me want to kick people.  All those who say "Eat less.  Exercise more."  IT'S NOT ALWAYS THAT EASY!