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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Dear Diary

I posted this on my TK message board today but decided to post it here too since it felt very close to a diary entry after I had posted it.

I am the fat kid.

When I was young, if my mother didn't feel like cooking we had pizza.  i always remember chips, microwave cheese and butter popcorn, and a freezer full of Schwan's frozen foods that included pizza burgers, pot pies, personal pizzas, and fried chicken products.  I remember once asking if my mom would buy oranges since I loved them when they were served at school.  She said they were too expensive and since I liked them they'd disappear too fast.  My sister and I use to chase each other and play loudly.  Until: "Would you just sit down and watch tv?!!  That's quiet at least!"  Until recently I took all of the blame for my weight upon myself.  I didn't want to be the person who always blames their parents and doesn't take responsibility.  But really.  I'm learning to not blame myself as much since I've recently realized that i really was never taught good food habits.

I was a depressed teenager who wanted to fade into the background and was convinced I was just a loser for not being able to be pretty or thin enough.  I can't say I'm not still slightly convinced.

1 comment:

  1. I can totally sympathize. My parents worked long hours with a long commute so we had fast food or top ramen every night. I do not remember a single time that we ever had a home cooked meal. As I grew up a little bit, I started to try more things, but have always had an affinity for fried foods or something quick. But I have to say, since dieting I have noticed that I actually LIKE healthy things. Never in a million years would I have though I would be craving zucchini or asparagus, but it has finally happened. Try not to feel too down, you are really inspiring.

    And I do realize this is weird since you probably do not know me, I hang out on E most of the time but am a lurker on SB. Sorry if I am a creeper, but I just wanted to let you know you are doing great. :)