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Friday, November 18, 2011

Empty Victory

I'm feeling down again.

I don't understand why my body, or brain, or whatever, is letting this fat chick take control.  I should be be pleased today.  I've done it!  I've officially moved to the other side of my weight loss ticker.

I was happy, don't get me wrong.  I got that wonderful, warm, cheerful feeling in my heart but it faded so quickly.  Second after it was replaced by the insidious voice of that fat chick inside me.  I thought I was destroying her but the whispers have began again.  Looking in the mirror, I don't see twenty-six pounds gone.  She whispers, "what's the point of weight loss if you can't see it at all?"  Reminds me that I still look fat. She makes me look at the spots on my naked body that are disgusting and obviously not changed by weight loss.

Twenty-six pounds is a lot!  That's the weight of three good-sized newborn babies.  You would think I could see something.  Heck, I think I should see something.  But no. That bastard of a fat chick is still in control.  Why won't she leave me be?  I just want to look in the mirror once and think "ooh.  I look good!"  Is that too much to ask for?  I mean, I didn't even really feel pretty on my wedding day.  This sucks!

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