I was feeling pretty down last week but some lovely people (and one lady in particular) know how to get me out of a funk. I needed to snap out of it but I was in a "woe is me" sort of frame of mind. Damn that fat chick. Slowly whispering her poison words in my ear. Damn me for falling for it again!
She tried to make me feel insignificant. She tried to make me believe I am a failure. Well I showed her!
I lost weight again. Will you look at that! I'm only 6 pounds away from being halfway to my big goal! I weighed in at almost 18.5 stone and I'm almost at 17 stone! What's a stone you ask? A pound is about .0714 stone. I'd just flat out say my weight but to be honest, it grosses me out. So at this point you'll either have to do the math if you're not familiar with units of mass that are used outside the U.S, or just take my word that I'm fat and my current weight indicates a significant improvement. While it may not seem like a lot of success to you all, I'm just pleased the number is getting smaller instead of bigger. I was (and still am) terrified that starting school would result in convenience eating, a return to poor nutrition, and a freshman-15 weight gain. If the fat chick who is the visualization of my negative self image had her way, I'd be blubbering on the couch about how I just want to be happy. She'd want me to bake a cake because cake makes everything better. She's partially right, cake is magical, but also calorie laden. She'd want me to ask my husband to pick up take-out because I'm too busy studying. Too busy to cook? Maybe this fat chick doesn't know me as well as she lets on? She'd also not want me to blog. The fat chick I see in the mirror wants me to be dependent upon her for all forms of validation. She wants me to be lonely, fat, and without hope.
The fat chick forgot one thing though. I really do hate that chick and I really do want to kick her butt.
Love it. I should just start referring to my weight in stones. It sounds way less harsh ;)
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work!