You know what?
I am SO sick of people limiting the goals and sometimes dreams of other people. I've had a bad last two weeks. I had some life crud going on, I was discouraged from losing weight and exercise, and I was having a major pity party for myself. The worst part, I couldn't even have cake at my pity party because the cake I crave is definitely not on the diet at this time. I'm sick of negative people and I'm sick of myself for allowing them to weasel their thoughts into my subconscious and even conscious thoughts.
You know what?
I don't care if it's vain. I don't care if I'm "not losing weight for the right reasons". I don't care if you think I'm just gonna fail. I don't care whether you think my eating habits are dumb. I don't care whether I get "healthier".
I just wanna not be fat. I wanna rock. I want to kick my own butt and make that fat chick in the mirror go to hell.
I want to love myself like a fat kid loves cake. I want to wear dresses and feel pretty in them. I want to be happy. I want to be thin and toned.
I have the right to rock.
I'm going to rock.
I'm working on a new playlist right now. I'm getting together all the songs that make me rock and then I'm going to rock n roll this weight off. I'm gonna do it because I want to. Not because other people think i need to. Screw them. This is between me and my internal fat chick. It might get ugly. It'll be worth it. I'm not gonna take it anymore. I'm gonna fight. Anyone who tries to stop me or slow me down is gonna pay. It's my life.
In an effort to start fresh today and in butt kicking mode, I've traded in my breakfast yogurt or toast for something a tad different to hopefully get my body out of this rut it's in. I must have shocked my system with that quick 14 pound weight loss. I gained 2 of it back and officially lost them again as of this morning.
So I had a lovely breakfast of organic Cascadian Farm Honey Nut O's in whole milk with blueberries on top. I'm going back to basics. Simple, clean foods, that also happen to be delicious. I'll have scrambled eggs, albacore, cauliflower, and maybe some fruit later. For dinner we'll do something in the grilled chicken with quinoa and veggies realm. Maybe some cherry Jello for dessert. Because although there is no more room in my mind for a fat chick to dwell there, as far as my belly is concerned, there is always room for Jello.
If you have read this whole rant, please treat yourself to a pat on the back. Even I had to stop halfway through and come back later.