So here's the thing. I've been having a blast.
I've spent so much time trying and failing when it comes to pleasing people. Not just others, but myself as well. I'm my toughest customer. Then, because I'm a worrier I sit around obsessing over what I could have done differently to be happy, not make someone hate me, or just to have a peaceful day to day life. That crap gets tiring. So I'm done. If I don't like me, you don't like me, or some random jerk on the street doesn't like me... so what?
I've spent the last few months learning to carry on despite nagging thoughts trying to keep me down. I think I finally figured out how to shut that darn internal fat chick up. Turns out you can't hear any negativity when you think a truly happy though. I've tried it before but much like Mr. Potter trying to use the Patronus charm, I just hadn't managed to nail it. Finally I found my happy thought and happy place. I found my joy on a mountaintop.
Biggest bonus? When you scream from the top of a mountain it eventually screams back at you via an echo. Turns out, when a mountain yells at you it's hard to take it seriously after you just lugged your not super-slim or super-fit butt all the way up to it's summit.
General update: Not much weight loss, have totally fallen off the wagon and am not eating nearly enough again, have been really active lately, school is eating my soul,