Goal Victory!

Well, I did it.  As of today it's official.

I've lost 50 pounds.  I am in sight of the day when I'll turn in my membership to the 200 club.  I don't feel a darn bit different, still can't see any change when I look in the mirror, but am SO excited. I'm not going to do any big outward celebration for hitting this milestone but I think leaving the 200 club will demand some kind of partying.  So what do you think I should do?  I need ideas. Not being 200 pounds is a really big deal.  It deserves come kind of major recognition.  But what?

Honestly, I'm pretty sure I didn't think I would reach this point.  I guess I figured my willpower would have waned far before now.  So yeah, I have no clue how to reward myself.  I can do the same old things that I like to do to treat myself.  But I feel like I need something bigger that a visit to my favorite frozen yogurt place and going out to dinner.  Something with pizazz. Ideas?

Victory Food

So, I'm still depressed but thankfully the gods of health and fitness have decided to take pity on me and add to my weight loss tally.

I don't get how this weight stuff works.  I'm super careful, eat exactly where I should be and nothing.  Then I say the heck with it, eat pizza (to be fair I gorged on pizza), have root beer floats, and almost call it quits and lose.  WEIRD.  I'm not complaining.  I'll take the loss.  i just wish I understood it.

ALSO:  There is this super sweet and beautiful girl I met on the internet who sent me a pair of jeans that didn't fit her properly.  THEY FIT ME!  They're a size 14 and they fit me.  Get this, when I graduated high-school, I was wearing a size 16.  When I started this whole dieting thing I was wearing a size 18 and even then they were tight.  I hope everyone trying to get healthy can experience the absolute, bubbly joy like I felt when those jeans slipped right on without a fight.  No spillage over the waistband either!

So in honor weight loss victory, I decided to try for a breakfast victory this morning.  On the menu:  maple sausage links, half a grapefruit, cranberry juice, and a delightful cheese soufflé.

 

Mini Cheese Soufflé

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons finely grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 cup whole milk (I didn't have any so I used 2% with a splash of cream in it)
• 2½ tablespoons unsalted butter
• 3 tablespoons all purpose flour
• ½ teaspoon paprika
• ½ teaspoon salt
• pinch of ground nutmeg
• 5 large eggs - divided with yolks and whites in separate bowls
• 1 cup coarsely grated sharp cheddar cheese

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 400°F.
2. Grease 6 individual ramekins with butter. Coat each dish with the Parmesan cheese.
3. Heat milk in heavy small saucepan over medium-low heat until simmering.
4. Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add flour and whisk until mixture begins to foam.  (about 3 minutes — avoid browning). Remove saucepan from heat for 1 minute.
5. Pour warm milk into flour mixture, whisking until smooth. Return to heat and cook, whisking constantly until thick (2 to 3 minutes). Remove from heat, and whisk in paprika, salt, and nutmeg.
6. Add egg yolks 1 at a time, whisking to blend after each addition. Sprinkle in cheese and whisk to incorporate. With a rubber spatula or wooden spoon, scrape soufflé base into large bowl. Cool to lukewarm. (about 10 minutes)
7. Beat egg whites in a clean, large bowl until stiff but not dry (you can use an electric mixer).
8. Fold whites into the soufflé base a little at a time. Transfer batter to prepared dishes, divided equally.
9. Set dishes onto a sheet pan, and place in oven on the lowest rack level. Immediately reduce oven temperature to 375°F. Bake until soufflés are puffed, tops golden brown, and center moves slightly when dish is shaken gently (about 25 minutes). Avoid opening oven door during first 20 minutes.
10. Serve immediately.

Empty Victory

I'm feeling down again.

I don't understand why my body, or brain, or whatever, is letting this fat chick take control.  I should be be pleased today.  I've done it!  I've officially moved to the other side of my weight loss ticker.

I was happy, don't get me wrong.  I got that wonderful, warm, cheerful feeling in my heart but it faded so quickly.  Second after it was replaced by the insidious voice of that fat chick inside me.  I thought I was destroying her but the whispers have began again.  Looking in the mirror, I don't see twenty-six pounds gone.  She whispers, "what's the point of weight loss if you can't see it at all?"  Reminds me that I still look fat. She makes me look at the spots on my naked body that are disgusting and obviously not changed by weight loss.

Twenty-six pounds is a lot!  That's the weight of three good-sized newborn babies.  You would think I could see something.  Heck, I think I should see something.  But no. That bastard of a fat chick is still in control.  Why won't she leave me be?  I just want to look in the mirror once and think "ooh.  I look good!"  Is that too much to ask for?  I mean, I didn't even really feel pretty on my wedding day.  This sucks!

Monday Ramblings

I am so frickin' stuffed.  I just ate lunch and it was huge and delicious.  Lettuce, tuna, cheddar and a bit of mayo in a pita with cherries on the side.  I could barely finish it and it wasn't even 300 calories.

It's so funny.  I feel like I'm eating all the time now.  I'm doing three meals and three snacks a day for a total of at least 1500 calories.  It's been a struggle since healthy food tends to be low calorie and then I have to eat tons of food to meet my quota.  I was always told that you had to restrict your calories in order to lose weight.  Apparently, that's not true after all.

I haven't had any major personal victories this week but I did get a free dose of joy courtesy of my husband.  He was talking this weekend (he brought it up like five times) about how amazing it is to see what he is eating nightly since not too long ago he hated a lot of the things I serve him now.  He's developed a love of steamed cauliflower and broccoli, only has soda once a week when he eats lunch out with his coworkers, and encouraged me to make pistachio pudding because "it's worth a try."  I'm so proud of him for giving all these changes a shot.  I know that he would be happy eating pizza, burgers, pasta, and heavy casseroles every night. BUT he's doing it for me.  I have never had anyone support me so fully.  What a great guy.