I Hate My Scale

The title of this is not some philosophical rant.

I don't hate my scale because those little numbers are simply the digital process of the machine telling me I'm fat.

I don't hate my scale because it makes me feel badly if I don't run that extra mile after a very tiring day.

I don't hate my scale because it's obviously judging me when I eat a less than highly nutritious meal.

I don't hate my scale because it makes me feel sorry every time I force it to withstand the force of all my body weight.

 


Oh no!  I'm not talking about any of those things today when I reference hating my scale.  I hate the sucker because it broke.  That's right.  It stopped working all together.

Do you have any idea what stepping on a scale and BREAKING IT does to self-esteem?

It destroys it.  I know it's silly.  Really.

The fat girl inside me though...

CRUSHED.

There are a Lot of Liars

Scales lie.



*They can lead you to believe that all your hard work was for nothing since you gained instead of lost.  It rarely mentions that a handful of muscle, being much denser than fat, weighs more.  It doesn't mention that when you overdid it in the gym/dance/treadmill activity, your muscles got hurt so your brain sent a protective layer of water bloat to cushion the area until it repairs itself.

Our brains lie.  





*Have you ever seen a person out in public wearing something ridiculously wrong for their body?  Like a 400lb woman wearing day-glo pink spandex with a fluffy sweater that looked liked she killed Chewbacca?  Know why she likely wore that outfit?  She thought she looked GOOD!  It's the same mechanism that causes a girl you may think looks perfect, to think she's grossly fat.

Our loved ones and friends lie.





*Good friends love you no matter what.  But it's their love for you that causes them to blatantly lie to your face.  I've known a person or two to behave otherwise but most people when confronted with the "does this make me look fat?" question, would never just say "yes."  Not wanting to hurt you they suggest that maybe that outfit just isn't your color or that the pockets are cut weird and therefore it looks odd.

You know what doesn't lie regularly?

Our clothes.





If your clothes don't fit.  There is a problem.  Sure, it could just be temporary. Maybe all those salty foods or gluten or alcohol over the weekend are causing you to bloat for a bit.  No big deal, but you notice the problem because your pants don't fit quite right.  

Moral of the story:  Listen to your pants.  The others all lie. 

Everyone I Know... Lied to Me

True Story.  All my friends and family must be liars.

Before I started effectively losing weight, if i mentioned anything about being overweight, huge, or fat, I'd hear things like:

"Sure you could lose a few pounds, but you're not fat."

"Regardless of your weight, you're so proportionate that you don't hardly look overweight."

*I would then argue that my doctor (and most in the world)  would classify me as morbidly obese according to my height and weight.

"That's ridiculous.  You just have some vanity pounds to shed."

"Those scales for comparison are all kinds of wrong."


Well guess what?

Here's how much weight I've lost:

Fifty-five G.D. pounds.  So logically, if someone had 55 pounds to lose, they must have been fat. 

I'm STILL fat.  Mind you, I'm only barely 5'4.  I do have a larger frame (stupid big wrists that are too huge for bracelets) but even factoring that in, the ideal weight for me would still be in the 130-150 range.

So... true of false?  People who have 50 pounds or more of unnecessary weight are fat.

The only people who would admit I had a problem were perfect strangers.  Random strangers in a check-out line mumbling "fat bitch" if I accidentally bumped them with my cart.  Salesperson in the Abercrombie store suggesting I check out Lane Bryant since "We only carry normal sizes."  Even random asshat guys barking at me as they drove by where I was walking on the sidewalk.  Yeah, barked at.  Not just once either.  And not just in this state.

I mean, obviously people aren't going to walk up to their friend and be "DANG.  You need to lose weight.  That's ridiculous!"  But when asked for a candid appraisal, I don't see why the truth wouldn't be the obvious response.  Feel free to candy-coat it a bit.  Don't be harsh.  But don't lie.  You see, discovering your deceptions only makes me doubt everything else you've ever said to me.

And as you know, most of us fat chicks don't have a lot of self-esteem to spare.